I recently felt compelled to inventory my network of people from whom I receive support in various areas of my life. It proved to be a valuable exercise that I felt was worth sharing.
The idea began with a realization of how frequently I had been telling people that I’ve felt very isolated since we moved to Bolivia. When I notice that I’m repeating a phrase in multiple conversations, it gets my attention because that usually indicates a belief in formation — often a limiting one! The belief essentially is that my life choices have resulted in a loss of community and connection and there’s nothing I can do about it. This is a classic victim mindset!
I decided to test this belief by making a list of all the areas of my life where I can identify felt needs at this time, and who I have to support me in each area. I identified 10 life areas where I need support:
- Healing
- Spiritual Guidance
- Coach Training/Mentoring
- Business Development
- Mental Fitness
- Physical Fitness
- Friendship
- Financial Guidance
- Recovery
- Family
Then, next to each life area I wrote who is supporting me or is available to support me in that area. Some of these are professional relationships (therapist, spiritual director, etc.) A couple of them are people I don’t know personally, but are trusted sources of support (podcast and meditation app). Here is what I learned:
- In every life area except one, I had adequate support available to me! I’m defining adequate support as having one or more people with whom I am in a life-giving relationship who are actively supporting me or are happy to support me when I make the request.
- In the majority of life areas, I am under-utilizing the support available to me by not maintaining consistent communication, failing to ask for what I want and need, and/or not fully trusting the goodness of their intentions toward me.
- In the life areas where I am paying a professional for support, I can be more patient with their process, trusting their expertise and fully participating.
In general, it felt extremely encouraging to see the names on paper. It created a feeling of having an abundance of support. It was also very helpful to identify the one area where I need to find someone who can support me. I think this is an exercise that would benefit (and surprise) most people. Here are a few of my overarching takeaways:
- It is my responsibility to be clear about what I want and need in my life and to communicate effectively with the people in my life about those things.
- Like most everything in life, my mindset about the relationships in my life dictates my experience — If I see abundance, I’ll have abundance. If I see scarcity, I’ll have scarcity.
- Awareness and acceptance are the beginning of transformation: I am aware that my career change and move to Bolivia have created geographic distance and some loss of connectivity in my relationships. I accept that as a normal outcome of my choices. Now, what becomes possible? How can I be creative in exploring new rhythms and technologies for connecting with people in my life? What can I share about my experience that will create connection and reduce relational distance where it exists? How can being forced to connect more deeply via technology serve me in other areas of my life? What are the lessons this situation and season of life want to teach me?
If you resonate with this exploration, I encourage you to do your own inventory of the network of supporting relationships in your life! Love and light to you.